First Date Etiquette: Who Should Pay for the Bill?

It was perfect romantic weather—a blend of soft evening clouds and gentle drizzles. There is something very innervating, fresh, and ecstatic about this kind of weather. It brings a rejuvenated feeling, the same feeling when the cool air hits your face as soon as you step out of a mundane office with a glass facade. A slightly airy breeze and the familiar earthy smell of freshly drenched soil created the perfect backdrop for my story. It is the story of two strangers who decided to meet for a one-fated date.

Wearing a perfect short red dress with strappy heels she entered the restaurant. She could see the drenched city through the glass wall of the top-floor restaurant. Rainwater was making all the city lights flicker. The restaurant was a fancy one with soft lighting. The glistening chandelier at the reception and those velvety drapes around it gave it a grandular appearance. She could hear the hushed conversations of people dressed as meticulously as her. The clinging sound of crockery and the bustling of servers made it more lively. 

She was observing her surroundings, but her eyes searched for that familiar face. As she scanned the room, her eyes moved from left to right; just in time, the receptionist approached her to offer assistance. That's when she spotted him. He was wearing a black formal shirt, black trousers, and a gold watch. Looking at him, a smile appeared on her face. She thanked the receptionist and started walking towards him. In that short walk, she pondered about ten million possibilities and outcomes for this date. 

It was their first date. Initially, they had planned for a simple coffee date, but then they realized it was Valentine's Day, and both of them were free and had no other plans. Decided to celebrate it together. They had been talking on the phone for a while now. When he first messaged her on a dating app, she was disinterested. She thought that he was here for fun while she wanted something meaningful.

They started talking over text, then on the phone, and then on FaceTime. She got to know him better but was still reluctant to meet him as her gut was not ready yet. Ignoring her inner turmoil, reluctantly, she decided to give him a chance as he genuinely tried to chat with her and took efforts to know her. He finalized the restaurant, took the initiative for this date, which she liked, and went with the flow. 

Her heartbeat quickened as she neared the table. Wiping his sweaty hands, he got up from the table to greet her. They shook hands. He offered her seat, and it all started. Small talks, talks about weather, city life and etc. All in all it started pretty smoothly. She felt a sense of comfort; the jittery feeling had vanished, and she was calm in his presence. The best part was the conversation flowed smoothly. Though they had two different personalities and worlds, they vibed; they had a mutual attraction and felt like a real connection.

They were engrossed in their discussion, but it was too late. Being a gentleman, he was concerned about her safety as it was unsafe for her to travel this late. Reluctantly, he asked for the check, and like that, the server handed him over the check. He happily paid for the check, and they exited the restaurant after a meaningful date and the next planned date. Lovely, isn't it? The story doesn’t end here. This whole scene striked a debate in my mind: Who should pay the bill on the first date?

In this story, the guy happily pays the bill at a fancy restaurant. But, I would like to mention that the girl was considerate enough as she ordered the least expensive thing on the menu. More importantly, both were there for meaningful connection and had genuine intentions. Many times that is not the case. If either party on a date is just for fun without any intentions of commitment then it gets complicated and sometimes awkward. If two people decide to meet on a date, they must be on the same page. If someone slightly misjudges a situation and/or intentions, it is unfair for the other person. It's not right for that unlucky individual; if the person is a guy, he may end up paying for dinner unnecessarily. In these situations, expenses should be shared equally, ideally 50-50.

Another scenario: Imagine the same story, but two people on a date have zero chemistry, and the conversation is dry. Then, it gets awkward as the bill arrives. They don't want to meet again, but it is a colossal bill, and the guy paying it doesn't sound good. 

Sometimes, girls like to test guys to see if they can provide for them. Even if a girl is independent and earns as much as her date, she may still prefer to let him pay the bill. If she likes him, she will allow him to cover the cost and will ensure that they meet again, often offering to pay for the second date. However, if she is not interested in the guy, she will typically want to split the bill.

In some cases, the conversation is good and meaningful, but the connection lacks that spark, the chemistry. In this case, it also doesn't matter who paid, as they had good times, but it should be 50-50. Suppose you do not want to be in this situation, where you are debating to pay or not to pay . In that case, the best dates are inexpensive dates like walking around the city, coffee dates, cycling, Hiking, etc. 

In the end, the key question should be whether the date was meaningful or not. The purpose of going on a date is to connect with someone special. Money is something very superficial. Though we need money to survive and for a better life, having good chemistry and a genuine connection is essential when choosing partners. If you find that on a date, keep it safe and don't let it go. In that case, whoever pays the bill doesn't matter. It is a win-win situation. 

At the end, as a hopeless romantic, I would like to say, if you are searching for someone in your life, go on dates, meet new people, explore, and enjoy interesting conversations. Be open to possibilities, give people a chance, give love a chance, and live life to the fullest. You never know; life might surprise you with the best love connection. Ultimately, ask yourself if the date was meaningful and if it is meant to be.....